


you and me versus dream

by paxopalotls



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, clingytwt take this suffering, i was cyberbullied into posting this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28862964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paxopalotls/pseuds/paxopalotls
Summary: Just a concept for what happens after tomorrow :)
Relationships: Jack Manifold & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	you and me versus dream

He was back at the bench, compass in hand. It had been days, Tubbo knew, but he was back on that cliffside anyway. It’s all he’d been doing really, for the past week. He was vaguely aware of Jack Manifold’s presence behind him, but he felt so hollow in his bones that he couldn’t find it in himself to acknowledge the man.

“Tubbo,” Jack said weakly, his voice barely carrying to Tubbo’s ears over the wind. The older man tried again. “Tubbo.”

Both of them knew Tubbo wouldn’t respond. Apathetically, almost on reflex, Tubbo turned once again to look at the compass. The needle didn’t point to anything but a crater and a tower that Tommy had never bothered to explain  _ and never would _ , but it gave him some comfort at least. It was like a physical reminder that Tommy had been there, physical,  _ real _ , and not just the apparition that had tortured his mind these past few days. 

“Tubbo,” he heard once again and he almost jumped, suddenly realizing how close Jack had gotten.

“Hey,” he heard himself say, slow and dry. He couldn’t really bring himself to say more. Any words on his tongue fell dully before they could leave his mouth.

Jack sighed, long and hard as he seemed to mull over what to say. Tubbo couldn’t really bring himself to care. Before Jack Manifold could say a thing, Tubbo spoke, clipped. “I know you hated him, but he was-” He didn’t finish because no word he said felt close to encapsulating what Tommy was to him. Best friend,  _ brother _ , all felt too small. They had been  _ everything  _ to each other, and when he had been forced to drive them apart, Tubbo couldn’t spend a single night asleep. Instead, he’d been here, on the bench, compass in hand. Some nights when he was feeling less self loathing and more lonely, he’d sneak Tommy’s disc out of the chest he’d carefully placed it in, and he’d listen to it on repeat till the sun came up.

He didn’t have the disc anymore  _ another way he had failed Tommy _ but if he stared at the sun long enough and hard enough, he could almost force himself to pretend the blonde was to his side, the right hand man he’d never asked for but always had. 

“I- I don’t know if I  _ hated _ him Tubbo, I-” Jack stopped mid-sentence.  _ Good _ .  _ I’ve had enough adults lying to me. _

He turned his attention back to the bench and the sun and the nonexistent boy beside him. “He’s not coming,” he heard Jack say, but Tubbo ignored him.  _ He has to come back. _ Wilbur came so Tommy would too. That’s what he’d been trying to convince himself of for days. 

_ Schlatt didn’t come back. _ Schlatt was an asshole. 

_ So was Wilbur. _ He’d been good, once. 

_ Tommy may not want to come back. _

That was the thought that gave him pause. He took a shuddering breath, desperately trying to ignore Jack’s all-too-perceptive eyes.

“He doesn’t have unfinished business Tubbo. He’d come to terms with it, the thought of dying.” Jack’s words were quiet, purposefully so; Tubbo had been given the choice to ignore them and continue his wait.

Somehow this strange kindness only brought forth anger in him. “No.” He heard the word come out loud, too loud, and the sound of it pounded against his head. He felt warm and cold simultaneously. 

He faltered, and Jack did too. Slowly, Tubbo allowed himself to meet Jack’s eyes, shocked to find them brimmed with tears. “Tommy’s dead, Tubbo.” Jack’s words were soft, but so, so loud, and Tubbo could feel his head hurt, but it was drowned out by the hole in his chest filling with rage, and it  _ burned.  _

“Shut the fuck up.” It was his voice this time he knew but he couldn’t figure out what it was saying.  _ He can’t be dead.  _ “So what if he’s dead?”  _ He can’t be gone.  _ “He’s going to come back.”  _ He has to have unfinished business.  _ “Don’t expect me to believe you even care.”  _ He has to have a reason to come back.  _ “You might not have faith in him but I do.”  _ He can’t be done with everything when he fucking left me behind. _

“Leave me alone.” It was all he had left to say really. His anger dissipated as quickly as it came, and he found himself missing it. The hurt had felt so much better than the empty that filled him now. 

Jack was silent for a long, long time. “Okay,” he finally said, a final stone thrown at Tubbo, and with that, he was alone, just as he’d wanted. 

With nothing but the sun, the bench, and a ghost that didn’t exist but somehow still haunted him, Tubbo allowed himself to cry.


End file.
